My Partner, the Chosen Idiot
by MistressLeia24
Summary: AU. What if Sheena was forced to take Zelos with her on her mission to kill Colette? Things turn upside down and inside out on this wild adventure with two incompatible partners who just might be falling head-over-heels for one another. Sheena's P.O.V.


**My Partner, the Chosen Idiot**

**A/N: Anybody who remembers this old story from before, gets a cookie. Yeah, this was actually my first fanfiction on here but I deleted it out of lack of creativity and inspiration. But it's back up now. I don't know if I'll get any farther then the first chapter though. I have that habit. But, I acutally had fun writing this. I liked getting into Sheena's mind rather then Lloyd's, Kratos', or Zelos'. Seriously, there are like no stories from a girl's point of view on the Symphonia section. Please excuse any typos or spelling errors. I was sneezing the whole time I was writing this so I kept pressing the wrong keys. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing; Namco are the gods. **

_**Dear Diary,**_

_I hate the King and the Pope right now. Absolutely, hate, no__, loathe __them. I have half a mind to knock them out, toss blonde wigs on both of them, tape a pair of plastic wings on their backs, throw them in Sylvarant, and "accidentally" murder them with my bare hands. Then, when their ghosts come back to haunt me I'll just tell them to stop dressing up like the Chosen of Sylvarant. It confuses the hired assassins._

_You know when that one person you kind of dislike from the start suddenly decides to feed the flame of mistrust you already have going? Well that's basically what the Pope and the King did to me. They just kept fueling that one little spark until they decided they wanted a big kaboom! to happen so they added dynamite. Very smart move…not. I wish my emotional state was a real explosion because, then, the Pope and King wouldn't be living right now. The castle would also be obliterated. _

_It wasn't the hiring knights to storm Mizuho's gates, forcing me to come along with them, dragging me all the way to Meltokio, and suddenly out of nowhere ordering me to hightail it all the way to Sylvarant to murder their Chosen that really ticked me off. No, those things just kind of cut the time before the big blow in half. Like when the lady at the hair stylist place keeps cutting your hair with layers and you don't want any freaking layers. Is it that hard people to listen to a customer! Martel forbid someone actually has the common sense to go 'Oh. She doesn't want layers because they make her hair look even more disheveled than normal, so I will listen to her and not cut any layers in her hair.' _

_Back on track now…_

_It was the last requirement for my "assassination" job I had to fulfill that really set me off. The last little thing I also had to do on this mission. _

_The one so called little requirement that they said was no big deal._

_The itsy bitsy piece of information they "forgot to tell me" before I humbly accepted the task that suddenly turned my whole perspective of the journey around. I really think that they forgot on purpose._

_The stupid King and the Pope forgot to tell me that the Chosen will be accompanying me._

_Don't get me wrong, I really have nothing against Zelos. In fact, I will admit that I once had a very tiny crush on him when we were younger. When he wasn't such an idiotic womanizer who thought he was the greatest thing on the planet and got literally everything he wanted. I can still remember back to when Zelos wouldn't take some comforting words from me and twist them into something perverted and wrong. He was serious back then; he wouldn't just play around with someone's feelings. _

_He was a 'catch' by my standards years ago. Then, he grew up and, like all men as I've recently discovered, his quality just plummeted towards the ground. Past the ground even. Through the very center of Earth and coming out on the other end at Sylvarant. _

_And when was this? Well, I think it was the day I came to visit him and he called me his "voluptuous hunny" that I seriously began to rethink my taste in men. _

_That was just the start of his transformation. What really changed him was when that idiot figured out what being the Chosen actually meant. How he could have everything he wanted with a snap of his fingers, including any woman on the planet. That's when he became the perverted, skirt-chasing, dumb-ass we see today. That's also when I started bitch-slapping him but that's beside the point. _

_And now the King and the Pope suddenly decide that I have to take Zelos Wilder along so he can "keep tabs on me and make sure I don't screw up." (I can just imagine all of the sick and wrong ways that idiot could twist that sentence into. Curse their exact wording.) _

_Um, hello? I don't think, no, I know Zelos is not the' journey-across-dimensions-and-kill-Chosens type of guy. I mean, the guy hasn't put a foot outside of Meltokio's walls, let alone go all the way to Sylvarant. And their Chosen is a girl. What are the odds?_

_What were those fools thinking!? _

_Rhetorical question. I know what they were thinking. They were thinking that if Zelos travels with me then somehow he'll get the motivation needed to start his world regeneration mission. Either that, or they just want him out of their hair and he's obviously made it clear he's not rushing to unlock the stinking seals any time soon. Can't say I really blame them there, but why do I have to be punished!_

_But I mean really, me and Zelos?! Working together?! Have they seen the way he acts around me? The journey will just take longer because of him making perverted comments directed at me every step of the way and my instinct to slap him every time he does so. This will lead to a lot of disagreements which will just take longer to solve then either discussion would take and trust me that will not put me in a good mood. Plus, at every city/village/town we go to, he'll feel the need to flirt with every female 'gracing the town with their beautiful presence'. His words; not mine._

_Bottom line: Zelos and I are not compatible partners. End of discussion. _

_Okay, I know what you're all thinking. You're all shouting at me to stop whining and just suck it up. The faster I can get this done, the faster I can get home and never ever see that idiot again._

_And, maybe you're all right… Maybe I'm being too over dramatic on this whole situation. Who knows? Maybe Zelos will surprise me. Maybe that soft, charming, sweet guy that I once knew is still locked away somewhere deep down. _

_…Yeah right! And maybe pigs will fly! Who am I kidding? Zelos is Zelos and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm just going to have to stand there and take his pervertedness while trying to focus on the simple goal as much as possible. I will admit that you were right in that category. It doesn't mean that I won't whine and complain the whole time though. _

_If I'm lucky, maybe I can leave him in Sybak and sneak away to Sylvarant all by myself without any questions being asked. There are lots of girls there so he should be happy. Some guard or someone will probably find him a bar, half-drunk, with ten girls clinging to his arms having no clue where I went. Everyone will possibly think I died, hold a sorrowful funeral for me, and then by shocked ten years closer to their own death when I pop up in Meltokio a week later, my mission complete. Zelos would probably whine about how he thought his voluptuous hunny died and how he was left all alone for a total of a week._

_Zelos wouldn't miss much on the journey anyway. _

_I am just another good-looking girl to him after all. Why would he care about little old me when he has thirty other hunnies worrying about him in his own hometown? I'm the cold, tomboyish ninja who slaps him ever hour or so. Compared to his other girls, I'm at the bottom of the heap._

_Before you go assuming things now, let me make this perfectly clear. I am not jealous. All of those other girls can have him, makes my life a heck of a lot easier. Besides, I don't have time for a pervert like him. …Not that if I had time I would give it to him! Because I so don't like him that way. …Or any other way! Not friends or anything like that! Not that I don't think he's a good friend, because he is. But we're not friends; I-I mean not good friends. W-We're not that kind of friends! What I mean is… -I-don't-and he doesn't- and I wouldn't… Ugh… _

_We're incompatible partners given the same assignment, let's put it that way._

_I'm just hoping that he isn't so talkative throughout this whole mission. I don't know how many comments about my body I can take in a day without slapping his head so hard that he has to walk backwards to see where he's going._

_Besides, let's look at the pros and cons of this._

_Cons: Zelos is going with me to Sylvarant. I'm going to have to kill an innocent person. I have to put up with Zelos' commenting. I'm traveling to another world that I know next to nothing about. Zelos is coming along. I still haven't made any pacts with any summon spirits yet. Did I mention Zelos will be there? …This is off topic but it is still a con: I still have a fear of lightning a thunder that I can't seem to get rid of. Hope there aren't any storms on this journey. It would just make my day when Zelos went back home and bragged about how much I 'needed' him when the big bad lightning came to get me. Yeah. I would rather settle for a blade of grass for comfort rather than him. _

_Pros: …I'm out of Mizuho and I can explore the world. I get to travel to a world no one has ever been to (on this side anyway). Corrine's with me. …I could have fun sneaking into Zelos' room, putting shaving cream on his hand, and tickling his nose with a feather. Kind of childish but I'm going to need every little positive thing to keep me going. _

_Man… are those all of the pros? Think, Sheena, think! Uh… Um… What about… No, that's more bad than good… __ow _

_How about-! No…That won't work. Damnit! Think, think, think. I just had a strong craving for honey. Focus, Sheena! Focus!_

_…Yep, I can't think of anything else. Looks like this is going to be a long assignment._

_What was that noise? It sounded like somebody screaming. A little kid maybe. Wait a second… It sounds like somebody's…chasing him? Damn thick inn window. I can't hear a thing through it. Well, I better go check it out or else I'll be lying awake all night wondering what happened on the streets of Meltokio today. _

_Oh, and before I go, I'd like to make a promise. Let's see how fast I can write this…_

_I, Sheena Fujibayashi, promise that under no circumstances will I ever on this mission, even for a second, fall for Zelos Wilder. _

_I know sounds unnecessary after my venting about him before but I at least needed to write it down in here so I at least know that I made that promise. This way, if Zelos starts complaining about me not falling for him I can counter with this._

_Oh, and another thing._

_For the record, I don't hate Zelos, I just can't stand him. They're two entirely different things. _

_Still hear the screaming and crying, see ya. _

_**Sheena **_

Snapping the small black book I was carrying shut and stuffing it into my pouch, I glanced out the shop window, much like everyone else in the store was doing. Don't ask me why I was writing in a shop because I honestly have no clue. I needed to vent and I doubt anyone in this stupid town would listen to me talking 'nonsense' about him. Half of 'em would probably offer to take my place.

…Then again, maybe that wasn't a bad idea.

I sighed to myself, the screaming outside increasing as the customers and cashier inside curiously opened the door and peered out into the streets, wondering what the heck was going on. The noise became louder with the door open but I still didn't gather around like they were all doing and instead focused on which arm band would match my outfit and sufficiently increase my defense.

By my guess, it was probably some spoiled brat sobbing to his mom about not getting the toy he wanted or being jealous of his sister's toy. Yeah, probably something like that. Nothing more, nothing less. Giving into curiosity was the first step to becoming one of the gossip women; and I shudder to even imagine myself in such a role. I was a tomboy. Meltokio and local gossip didn't peak my interest.

Honestly, why couldn't I ever be forcibly taken to a nice quiet town with a lot of hunky, non-perverted, guys? I wouldn't mind that, not in the slightest. But instead, I'm dragged to one of the most hated cities on my list, Meltokio. The only good thing was that I'll only be staying here—here meaning the expensive local inn. Zelos offered a room at his mansion but my answer was quite obvious. If I will be traveling with the guy for a good month or two, I wanted to be away from him as much as possible—for three days top. Just enough time to buy supplies and let Zelos bid farewell to his fan girls.

I was sure they'd miss him terribly. Not. Those chicks would probably fall at the feet of the second richest and handsomest guy for comfort as soon as he was gone. Yeah, they were loyal.

Okay, now the screaming was just getting annoying. Slamming the two bracelets down on the table, I reluctantly trailed behind the three people crowded around the door, watching the events with interest. I just peered over their shoulders.

There, in the middle of a rather small mob of nobles, was an incredibly short kid with a full-grown man wearing one of those tacky, powdered wigs looming over him. The man had roughly grabbed the kid's shoulder and was shaking him now, yelling indecipherable things amongst the crowd's loud whispering. Not one person made the slightest effort to help the poor kid out whilst they just simply watched the boy cry harder.

Stuck-up snobs. Every last one of them.

"For the love of…" I grumbled, giving my head a hard shake before shouldering past the three blocking the doorway. They all gave me funny stares but I pointedly ignored them. If there was one thing I couldn't stand-besides Zelos-it some bastard making an innocent kid cry and no one doing a damn thing about it.

I would physically smack myself silly for my actions later but right now, my thoughts were on the kid.

Okay, I would admit that I did find kids utterly adorable and that I hoped to be a mother someday. I couldn't deny that. And seeing a kid just cry while some guy visibly shaking him hard enough to rattle his brains loose, made me get a little...reckless. Kids are already low on IQ points these days, and they don't need to be losing anymore.

Ah, who cared? I would possibly by facing my death in a few short weeks anyway, so what's there to lose.

"Hey!!" I shouted, finally getting through the throng of the crowd and standing in the small circle they had created around the boy and noble.

Everyone froze. The sobbing kid, the man, the crowd, the ladies at the nearby pastry shop who were complaining about their husbands and hadn't even noticed the incident until now; everyone. All eyes that weren't already glued to me from my beeline through the crowd now switched to me. Needless to say, I was not a big fan of attention, but that's what I got for opening my big mouth and letting my emotions get carried away…again. Damn, I needed some therapy. Or some anger management classes. I had heard Sylvarant was pretty cheap…

"Put the kid down," I found myself growling, unconsciously leaning into my battle stance. I could practically feel my cards actually sliding themselves out of their pouch and barely brushing my fingertips.

The kid took advantage of his captor's momentary shock at my appearance and twisted free from his grasp, full out sprinting in my direction. Looked like he thankfully didn't lose too many IQ points. The boy nearly collided into my leg, swerving at the last minute and hiding behind me with wide eyes. His hands fisted around my kimono almost pleadingly.

"This kid yours?" asked the noble in front of my, drawing my narrowed eyes onto him.

"No," I answered truthfully. If this kid like almost killed a family member of his, I didn't want to look like a complete moron defending the wrong person. Right now I was neutral. I just wanted to know why the hell this man was traumatizing some kid.

Speaking of which the kid did look kind of poor. Maybe he got a smig of mud on the aristocrat's vinyl couch or something trivial like that.

The pompous bastard scrutinized me with doubtful eyes. Hello? Did I look old enough to be a mother? Let me answer that for you: No, I did not.

"Why were you shaking him?" I questioned, sounding dumb to my own ears. Who in their right minds would just break-up a fight between a noble and a peasant just to defend the poorer one? Obviously, I was not in my right mind. There's a shocker.

But really was everyone around here so superficial? I'd never thought I'd say this, but I miss Mizuho. At least I was hated there with a good reason.

The man gave a low menacing growl, sounding very improper as he straightened up and dusted himself off. Like I said, pompous. Every last one of them. "That little _rat _stole from me."

The murmurs around me started up again, this time increasing in volume.

I almost snorted at the answer. So ask him to give it back. It's not something you need to physically assault a kid for. Children don't know any better. Plus he's poor; he's probably starving and in desperate need of money. Anyone ever heard of charity? It was this wonderful thing that is supposed to give you this warm-tingly feeling inside. I had never felt it, but hey, I still tried.

I relaxed my fighting position, startling the kid. "So?"

Again, everyone went silent. Did these people like dramatic pauses or something?

"So!?" the man parroted, eyes widening. "So?!

"Just ask him to give it back. …Politely."

"Politely?! To that, that, that…THING!!" The man still looked incredulous as he pointed a flawless hand at the squirming boy behind me.

Okay, this guy was really starting to piss me off. "He's a human being! Get it through your thick skull!" I countered, hands balling into fists. I simply **hated **people like this S.O.B. as Zelos would call him.

Oh my god, I was referring to a Zelos term. Somebody slap me before I used the word 'hunny'.

The older guy turned his nose up with an air of arrogance. Just keep pushing it buddy… "Obviously, you do not know the standards here, Miss. That thing you are protecting is nothing more than a common fiend and must be dealt with as such."

Was he implying that he was going to kill the kid?! Just for stealing?! Geez, give him a break!

"That thing will be sentenced with a minimal of thirty years in prison and I doubt that you would like to join him," he continued, causing the boy to tighten his grip on my leg.

Thirty years?! For what?! Wanting to live?! What kind of screwed up town was this?! "L-Look," I stuttered, quaking with anger on the inside but managing to keep my voice calm. So help me, as long as I was alive I would not let a six-year-old get sent to prison for thirty years. No matter what he did. Uh-uh. That was not the way Sheena rolls.

…Somebody stop the Zelos sayings filling my thoughts. I was on the brink of insanity here.

"I'm sure we could work something out. Community service or maybe he could help your servants clean your yard for three months?" I was trying real hard to pleasant and reasonable; two things that were usually thrown out the window with me.

The noble gaped at me like I had suddenly grown two heads. Ha! Yeah, right. I wished. Then maybe I could top Zelos's record on the annoyance scale."Y-Y-You want me to let that thing come near MY house and touch MY beautiful yard!! Despicable!! Unethical!! It would just butcher my lovely hedges! And community service is gong far too easy on a criminal! It's completely out of line!"

"How is that out of line? If he's willing to make up for it, what's so wrong about it!? If he steals again, you can contact me and I'll deal with it." Reasoning with this guy was impossible. I'd have better luck trying to get Zelos to stop being flirtatious.

…On second thought, maybe this was easier.

He scoffed and snorted at the same time, the sound coming out very much like a high-pitched squeak that I almost laughed at. Almost. I knew when laughing would get me in more trouble then I already was. "I still won't allow it."

"What did he steal from you anyways?" It had to be something good if this man was going to such lengths to land this kid in hot water.

He sniffed indignantly, clear face warped into absolute revulsion. "That…That thing stole an expensive and exotic piece of meat from my kitchen staff."

This time it was me that went silent; not the people. Meat?! This was all over a slab of meat?! What was this world coming to!? "Can't you just…buy more?"

"BUY MORE?! You make it sound like it's just an old piece of cloth that can easily be replaced! This meat was from an almost extinct fiend that takes months to prepare and cook to its finest quality!"

I was sure he could live his life as peacefully as before without a hunk of meat, but I kept my mouth shut. And why did he need such expensive meat? Wouldn't chicken do? "I still don't see the problem."

The male sighed hopelessly. "I shouldn't expect your barbaric kind to understand anyway. Prison is the only suitable option."

"What?" I snarled, making sure I was hearing correctly.

"Your barbaric kind," he repeated, rich accent slipping a bit at the words. "You're from Mizuho, making you a disgrace to us all."

I went stiff. B-B-Barbaric?! Disgrace?! Buddy, you just pushed yourself off of the edge of the cliff and into the freezing sea below where Sheena the shark is waiting to tear you limb from limb.

I had such a peaceful and virtuous mind, didn't I? Once again not. If you hadn't already gotten use to my sarcasm by now, you're seriously behind.

I was vaguely aware of the small boy releasing his grip on my leg and taking five rather large steps away from me. A chorus of gasps went around the ground, only succeeding in making me roll my eyes. I swore this was like some weekly soap opera for them.

Just for a little background info, ninjas-specifically Mizuho ninjas-weren't well liked in Meltokio. One of the many reasons I hated this place so much. Supposedly, to the kids, we were these rotten people that took their lollipops and squeezed toothpaste from the middles instead of the ends. (First, if we wanted lollipops-which we don't-we would steal a whole store's worth; not some little kid's. Second, squeezing toothpaste from the middle is an old habit that only some of us have. It doesn't make you some vampire of the night, but whatever.) Yeah, we were terrifying in their eyes.

To the adults…well…they had their bloodsucking phantoms of the night myths. Nobody knew how the stories got started. Most are saying they originated from the rich end of town when a group of women were bored one day and decided to 'exaggerate' some new gossip. By my guess, they must have exaggerated a whole lot to come up with the one tale about a ninja slicing someone's throat just for glancing in his direction.

Basically, we had been molded into the figments of ghost stories told to little kids to get them to sleep and the outcasts that the wealthy folks liked to discriminate against. Obviously, half-elves weren't enough for their spite.

Lousy, superficial, immature, stuck-up, bitchy…

The strings of curses inside my head were cut off by the guy's low, menacing, and downright creepy chuckles. I blinked. What the heck? I hadn't even said anything yet.

"You thought I wouldn't notice?" the man said between gasps of air, one hand place delicately in front of his smirk. "Please! Your kind is so easy to pick out amongst a crowd; you stand out too much. The way you dress is appalling, your manners are nauseating, and your fighting style is, well, vulgar to say the least."

You know what? Screw being polite. Screw not breaking this bastard's nose. Screw everything about manners and making friends. This guy wanted to see a 'barbaric' ninja, then I would show him one.

"We are not like that," I hissed at him, making one last ditch attempt to compose myself. Yeah…not working.

"I suppose I can add lying to the ninja traits," he drawled, taking out a handkerchief from his pocket and dapping his forehead like he was going to faint. Over dramatic son of a…

Before I could stop myself, I slipped back into my combating crouch, cards clasping into my hands. My thoughts were jumbled up and I was pretty sure that I couldn't think coherently. Just rage and utter distaste built up inside of me and adrenaline pounding through my veins.

You could insult me, you could insult the poor, you could insult the rich, you could insult Zelos,-heck, I'd even join you-but insult my thousand year old ninja tribe that used to be the most respected people on the planet, and you'd just dug your own grave.

I was probably going to regret this ten minutes later, when I would be stuck in prison and learning how to play the harmonica, but right now I didn't really give a care. Everything was crashing around and this was that one tiny thing that sent me swimming in the sea below.

I would have to actually kill someone completely innocent, possibly die on the mission, make sure that Zelos didn't kill himself, return to this godforsaken place if I lived, learn how the make pacts with the stinking summon spirits,-including Volt at one point-and on top of all that deal with ignorant people such as this idiotic guy every step of the way.

Yeah, my life officially sucked.

The mass swarmed backwards a bit as I fanned out my cards and shifted all of my weight to my toes. Whispers enlarged in multitude and I could have sworn more people were gathering around. Great, more witnesses.

The powdered wig dude just stared at me, face blank as if he was uninterestedly looking at a kitten baring its fangs at him. Newsflash: I was more dangerous than any pussycat and he was about to know it.

Within the blink of an eye I rushed forward, several shrieks erupting from the audience at my sudden speed. All I had to do was land a couple kicks to his haughty face. That was all I would do. Just hard enough to leave him a couple bruises on his perfect complexion as a reminder of me. It wouldn't land him in the hospital and hopefully I would get out a few years early with some necessary flirting.

Just as I sprang into the air, legs ready to whirl around and pummel the stunned aristocrat towards the ground, there was a sudden pressure on my back. It didn't feel like someone was pushing me forward, rather it felt like someone was pulling me _back_.

Damn it. That stupid guy probably has a posse waiting to surround me and beat me until I give them all my money; which isn't very much, mind you. Really, what is it with rich people and needing to get more money. Can't people just be happy with what they have?

The world spun around me, images swirling together as I rolled backwards onto the floor. I shut my eyes as soon as I felt the stone collide with my legs. I didn't need to make myself sick watching myself spin around like some top. My gloved hands painfully scrapped the edges of the smooth stone on the ground along with my knees but other than that I seemed to be fine. A resounding thud echoed around the small, crowded plaza as my body finally came to a stop somewhere along the edge of the circle.

Who in their right minds would grab a ninja from the bow on her back and flip her?

_An idiot, that's who,_ my mind answered.

A groan escaped my lips. There was only one idiot and I didn't want to deal with him right now.

Nevertheless, I cracked open my eyes and took a moment to adjust the blurry images into actually objects. Damn, now I had a headache…or a larger one then before; I couldn't remember. For once, the people weren't focused on my sprawled out forma and ungraceful landing. They were all gawking at the figure that had taken my place in front of the noble.

From what I could tell through narrowed eyes and my downward view, it was a guy. With long hair. …Wearing pink. I groaned, giving myself a much needed smack in the forehead though not hard enough to make me lose consciousness like I wanted to.

Martel must hate me.

Standing between me and my opponent was none other than the source of my frustration, Zelos Wilder.

**A/N: So? What'd you all think? Like hearing things from Sheena's head? Waiting for the ZelosXSheena to start? Like the idea of it? Wondering why Sheena's so ticked off? Want a specific event to happen between the two on their journey. Send me your thoughts and replies in a review. They make people's days. ****;-) **

**Anywho, I think I got Sheena slightly out of character in this bit. I didn't want to make it to boring or anything so I had to spice things up a bit. And yes, I know that Sheena would never cuss that much but we honestly don't know what's going through her head half the time so I improvised. If this does continue, I may decide to add some of Zelos's point of view but I don't know yet. Every chapter will start out from a journal entry by one of the characters. Most of the time it'll be either Sheena or Zelos but I may add some Lloyd, Colette, or Raine into the batch.**

**Originally this chapter was just a journal entry but I decided to spice things up a bit and add the whole dispute. You guys and gals may see Meletokio differently but I think that from Sheena's point of view it would be her least favorite city. The wealthy girls did bascially diss her right in front of Zelos the one time she went into the city with the bunch so I was thinking that they would be the type of people to start all the rumors about Mizuho ninjas and everything.**

**Anyways, tell me what you think. Until next time!**


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